Smile like you mean it....

Okay, So 'smile like you mean it' is what I called my picture that is currently my display picture for this site. I don't know why, but it just seemed to fit.
Lately it seems I've forgotten how to smile. I'll be at work right, and everything will be going fine and then all of a sudden I just want to sit down and cry, same thing goes with school. I don't know what happens to make me have these random bursts of unhappiness. Occasionally, I'll be happy. The other day I was with Britt (I think) and I rememeber laughing harder then I've laughed in a long time and it was wonderful, but then a few minutes later it was like nothing.
I was talking to Chris the other day right, and I said to him, "I need Emmelz back." He was confused but I knew exactly what I meant. For some reason happy bubble Emmelz has taken a back seat inmy life and again, I'm not so sure why. I really wish I could understand how it all works, but obviously I cannot.
Although to give me some credit, I don't think a heck of a lot of people know exactly how i feel. I have a way of being able to smile through it all and hold it all back. But I know its all a lie, I see it themost when I look into the mirror. My eyes don't seem to be filled with the same spark that once filled them.

Wow... Don't I seem emo?