Life,

Life, how fun is this. I've been having a really intense few weeks. I don't know why but, every single day I feel like crying. But I'm strong Emmelz, no matter how much my eyes burn I can't seem to get a tear out. Has anyone else ever had this happen to them? Cuz I think I'm crazy lol. I had a rough first month of school, it's weird cuz I have one class. Math, I fucking hate math, those who know me know that. But it isn't the work load it's the changes. I miss all of my grade twelve friends, Michelle and Court are the ones I miss the most. But my sister started at KSS this year because she was kicked out of ballenas, and unfortunately we both have very busy scheduals between work and my play practices it's almost impossible for me to see her, which is fucked up. I mean we live together. So that is a major person who I feel like I'm missing from my life. Last friday was probably the happiest I've been in a month. Mandy skipped the day of school (got in hella shit but whatever) and Michelle came down for the day, and for some reason it just felt right, like nothing had changed. I was back to being loud crazy Emmelz. I mean we sang Queen in the middle of the hallway, when was the last time I've done that. Long time let me tell you. Another thing, one that surpized me greatly is how much I miss Lua. I've known Lua since grade six and although we were never extremely close she is a presnce that is no longer around, and it's just weird.

I hate being this moody, this quite. Everyone's noticed, everyone askes whats wrong. I reply with the normal nothing, even though something is wrong. but the real problem is what are you supposed to say to some when they ask what's wrong when you don't even know yourself?

Pretty deep blog for a first (pretty much)
anyways I'll try and keep this updated. What else do I have to do with my time?